Want
by luce.d3l.sole
Summary: Everyone has to hurt every once in a while, but for some, it just seems to be more often than others. Follow Sora, Riku, Kairi, Roxas, Naminé, Axel, Leon and Cloud through their crazy lives as they all try to obtain the happiness many others may never have the chance to find. RxS and other random pairings.
1. Only the Beginning

_There was heavy breathing. Lots of it._

_My hands were firmly glued to the sides of his face, tracing his cheekbones, part of the perfect structure I'd fallen madly in love with. But that wasn't nearly the half of it._

_His mouth on mine raised a burning desire from the very most central part of me. It made me want him worse than I'd ever wanted anyone else in my entire life._

_Pure want. A feeling of utmost exhilaration._

_What would our parents think? What would everyone think?_

_I didn't care._

_And that, a horrible thing called carelessness, is how mistakes happen._

**-Sora-**

Where I live, you don't complain about your problems. Where I'm from, things are a lot more calm and easy-going than in most other places you could visit. In my life, anything is acceptable as long as you can dream of doing it.

I dreamed of many things that I thought were pretty common for someone around my age. Being a well-paid, high in demand sports superstar, for instance, was the first fantasy I would mention. Then there was finding the person I loved and cherished more than anyone else in the entire universe. Boy or girl, it didn't matter or make much of a difference to me. We could live in our dream home, purchased from all the millions I'd be making, either have or adopt children, and be the happiest family that had ever existed.

From these dreams, I know you are probably making the assumption that I'm money-hungry, and I honestly wouldn't blame you. But really, I just like the game.

My name is Sora. At the time, I was living in a two-story, three-bedroom, two-bathroom, light-blue house with a few extras, like a pool in the basement and a sauna. I wouldn't have said we were wealthy, but I guess, thinking back on it, we probably were. My head was just too far up my ass to see it.

My dad ran a family business, a popular, high-end restaurant where my mom was employed as the head chef. They enjoyed what they did very much, and were never hesitant to offer myself or my unidentical twin brother Roxas some small jobs there, but we'd both always turned them down. Roxas often referred to it as 'broadening our horizons.' Funny then, how he ended up working at a fast food restaurant where he slaved away folding and rolling burritos for the entirety of his shifts. Very ironic.

The story I'm about to tell you is also quite ironic. It goes a bit like this:

It was early October, and we were about a month into our junior year in high school. I was in the back of a school vehicle with Roxas as the driver and our driving instructor Leon in the passenger seat. I remember Leon being pretty grumpy back then. He snapped at the tiniest little mistakes we made driving, was always stressed, and didn't care to hear excuses when we were a few minutes late on a bad day.

Unfortunately, Roxas _really_ sucked at driving. He was absolutely terrible, and with our brooding instructor sitting next to him, it made me want to laugh. But I would never laugh because I knew how frightened Roxas was that he might somehow accidentally manage to run someone he hadn't even seen appear in front of him over. I just couldn't understand how he could be afraid of something so small when we were out in the middle of the country with no one _to_ run over. Well, that's Roxas.

"Take a right at the four-way intersection." It was also pretty hilarious to watch my brother struggle with deciphering left from right, although I must admit that I could have trouble with that sometimes too. Especially under pressure.

Roxas managed to make the right turn without cutting the corner too tight, a pet peeve of Leon's and a problem Roxas really needed to correct before he could make his way to the DMV and do some serious damage- both to his driving record _and_ the neighborhood.

We were coming towards the edge of Twilight Town (which is, by the way, a complete misnomer, as Twilight was actually a pretty decent-sized city), when Roxas just so happened to notice something coming towards us from the left-hand side of the car. I had been busy daydreaming about signing up for soccer, and how I would already be decidedly the star athlete of the team, so I of course was out of it.

"Oh... My God!" Roxas yelled in alarm, turning his head entirely towards the onslaught of deer running directly at us. I'd been so suprised at the sudden outburst that I'd jumped three feet in the air, in my seat, and smacked my head against the low ceiling of the car we were in. Great job the seatbelts would do if we got into a bind.

"Stay calm!" Leon demanded, reaching for the wheel. But, in a state of panic, Roxas wasn't having that, was busy freaking out and screaming like a little girl, and, without meaning to, somehow managed to do a complete 180 and have us facing in the opposite direction, deer still coming, and then speed forward, all the while Leon looking apalled. Then he hit a patch of loose gravel and had the car spinning out of control and into a ditch. From here, I watched the deer pass by, clearly undeterred by our small-scale accident.

It took only a few seconds to see that Leon was absolutely fuming. Furious, he turned to me in the back seat and asked, as was probably his job, "You okay, Sora?" I remember nodding and staring wide-eyed, being sure to keep my mouth firmly shut so I was unable to make any rude comments that might land me in severely hot water. Roxas looked like he'd just had a heart attack.

"Honestly!" Leon continued, glaring at Roxas like you've never known. Trust me, if you think you've seen something frightening, you have never in all your life witnessed Leon just after he has almost been killed in a car accident. "How the hell do you ever expect to get your license when you're pulling stunts like that?!" All the sudden, Roxas somehow managed to gain some courage and look angry.

"So you're saying it would have been safer to let them hit me?! Are you _kidding_?!" He sounded absolutely dumb-struck. I mentally pleaded to Roxas to think about what he was saying, and who he was saying it to, but then again, I'd never known him to be much of a mind reader.

Leon gave a great huff. "With the way you just lost control of the vehicle, yes, it would have been!" He said, matter-of-factly. Roxas, giving up the losing battle, turned to me.

"You're not saying much. You sure you're okay?" I'm sure he was probably just irritated that I hadn't been defending him through his spat with Leon, but really, there was no good point to defend, Roxas being kind of an idiot as it was.

I nodded in response. "Yeah, just in shock." Really, I was sort of in shock, but mostly it was like I said before. Roxas was stupid.

I watched Roxas look me over for any signs of obvious trauma or injuries, which kind of made me believe he was more concerned about me then I'd been giving him credit for. I have to admit, remembering this, I love my brother very much for caring.

"Sora, get in the front seat. We're going to practice getting out of ditches now, rather than going in them."

I really didn't find it fair that I was the one who had to get us out of this mess after Roxas had put us in it. But mom had always told me that Roxas was at a loss as far as brain matter was concerned, and that he needed a lot of love and a lot of help just to get the easy things done in life. I know it sounds like I'm being hard on my brother, but believe me, if you'd been living with him for almost seventeen years, you'd understand.

"Yes, sir," I replied. Although I'd had a positive response, it took me watching Roxas sighing, undoing his seatbelt and reaching for his door handle before I finally found some incentive to move.

By this point, you're probably wondering what all of this had to do with my story. You see, this whole thing is exactly that. It is the very beginning of the day that I first laid eyes on the absolute love of my life.

Beyond behind the wheel class, Roxas and I had to make our way back to the school's parking lot with a not-so-appreciative Leon watching my driving skills like a hawk. The worst part about it was that he was dead silent while he glared at me, which I personally find to be extremely nerve-wracking. I wish he just would have made whatever comment that had been floating through his head rather than making me want to crash into a tree just so he would say something.

It was a big relief for me, and I think I can speak for Roxas too, to get that car back in the school's garage and slink away as quietly as we could to our lockers.

The shit part of behind the wheel was how early it started and how long it ran. We had to get up earlier (a nearly impossible feat), and we returned to school right as the warning bell was ringing. This meant I didn't have time to talk to Wakka and Tidus about who they suspected would be at soccer try-outs, and how they thought the weather was going to turn out...

Didn't matter. I'd kick ass rain or shine. I'd show them all.

I was also slightly concerned with whether our regular coach would be returning this year, or if we'd be getting a new one. The coach was the most important person to impress, in and out of practice, and I was determined to start making a good, lasting impression as soon as I could.

But this whole being almost late for class thing also meant I was avoiding Kairi.

Not that Kairi was a bad person. I liked her company. She was funny and often hinted at how she thought we would make a good couple. Honestly, I found it rather flattering. She was a beautiful girl and a lot of guys wanted her. I'd even fucked around with her once or twice. Irresponsible, selfish me.

It was her ex-boyfriend, Hayner, who followed her everywhere that pissed me off. I'd been sure if he ever found a chance to confront me about what had happened between Kairi and me, he would have been at my throat. Whatever. I could take him.

I wandered to my locker and started to turn the lock when I heard a series of shrieks from the classroom right next door to me, the science lab. I assumed some early-rising valedictorian student had probably had one of their experiments go terribly awry and was now growing tentacles on their face. Ha.

Sure enough, I saw Vexen (everyone called him by his first name because he was such a kick-ass teacher and didn't mind) leading some poor brunette girl out of the room, shushing and guiding her in the general direction of the nurses' station. She was covering her left eye and wailing in pain like it was nobody's business, although she was loud enough to make it everyone's. I took a moment to feel bad before I turned away from the scene and began to make my way towards my first hour class, Personal Finance.

Personal Finance class made me want to bang my head against the wall, rip all my hair out and shoot myself. I'm not exaggerating. It really was that bad.

I strode into the room just as the bell rang and took my seat next to Olette, an intelligent girl also in her junior year that I depended on to take most of the notes for me. She didn't seem to mind helping me out much.

"Yo, homie," she greeted, sarcastically, then giggled at the speech she'd just used. "How was behind the wheel?" I often recalled all the tragic incidents that occurred when Roxas was driving during the dead time we had after a test. We had a lot of those awful things on course material that half of us would probably never use in our lives anyway, nor cared about, but hey, it was a required class. What was I supposed to do?

"Roxas put us into a ditch," I replied, pulling out a notebook and a pen so I could at least pretend to be recording the lecture we had inevitably been about to listen to.

Olette simply looked amused. She was used to answers like that. "How'd he manage that one?"

"Deer," Was my simple answer.

"Ahh, I see." That, sadly enough, was where our conversation ended as our teacher walked up to the front of the room. And that, my friends, is when I grabbed the oversized textbook we'd been issued for this boring-as-hell class, stood it up in front of me, put my head down in my arms, and drifted off to catch up on that hour of sleep I'd missed out on that morning.

-**Riku-**

Crash.

White ceiling, green sheets, light filtering in from the topmost reaches of the closed blinds. These were the first images I saw.

Laying, half-asleep, dead to the world.

Like I'd been in a coma or something.

Maybe I technically had.

My silver hair, long and, at that point, most likely knotted, was still wound into a loose ponytail, missed strands hanging randomly, framing my slightly tanned face. I had the covers and sheets all tangled together, and I was wearing pajama pants and nothing more. My alarm clock had been set, or rather thrown, on top of a heap of school uniforms, neither of which I'd touched since I'd graduated that June.

I rolled over, still groggy from my sleep of the dead, and tried to will myself to doze off again. I knew my body needed more rest, instinctively by this point in time, but some loud noise that had woken me up was still sounding clear outside my window.

Forcing myself into an upright position, I peeked through my blinds at the world existing without me. It seemed Daddykins was packing up the Range Rover with luggage. It meant we'd be going somewhere.

It meant I'd better get my ass up.

I managed to make it to the bathroom without reeling from dizziness. I was tired, hungry, and, unfortunately, a little word the better part of the world has come to know as constipated. It was pretty depressing. All this was nothing compaired to my most major problem.

I'd need a hit soon.

The nap had taken it all out of me, or, the crash, as some would refer to it as. And the word soon, for me, has come to mean almost immediately. Let me tell you, it's really hard to travel with an entrepreneur father, try to look composed and genuine as the sure-to-inherit-it-all son, speak clearly, listen actively, and not pass out when you are a class-one heroin addict.

I know, I know. You have this image, horrible needles, sinister and sinking themselves through flesh into spider-web veins, dripping poison while the blood stream distributes the murderous, vile substance around the body, causing all sorts of distorting effects.

I know.

But you have no idea. I think maybe you could... Maybe.

Think of having your best orgasm, eating a bag of skittles the size of jupiter and washing it down with a liter of mountain dew close to the amount of water in the ocean, driving three-hundred miles per hour in a fifty-five, and multiply that times infinity.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is heroin.

"Riku! ...Riku! You awake yet?" My dad, Sephiroth, is an entrepreneur who struck it big and now owns his own company. Well, I guess he kinda does, anyway. Mostly he goes around and bribes smaller, self-functioning restaurants to agree to sign a contract with him, and in return he loads them down with thousands and starts using their food products world-wide. My amazing, intelligent, lucky dad.

Pulling the band from my hair, I yelled back, "Yeah! In the bathroom!" And waited for him to let me know where we would be traveling on this fine day. Instead of yelling up the stairs, like he normally would, he made the trip upstairs and leaned against the doorframe. "What's up?"

"Riku, I think we've really found something on this one. It's a little business down in Twilight, run by two full-time parents of two sons and some help they've hired from around town. Guess they really rake it in off the amazing cooking."

Two sons, huh? Hmm... I liked boys.

I knew what that meant. Take a shower, pack your stuff, don't forget the phone charger, and jump in the car, so we can go out and make millions.

"How long?"

"Can you be ready in an hour? I'd like to get there early." I nodded.

"Sure thing." He started walking away, but I heard his voice carry from down the hallway.

"And, Riku, one more thing. I need you to impress these kids. You know how much that can sway the family. Let them know the deal they'll be getting." And with that, he was down the stairs and probably making himself some coffee. Impressing the kids. That was our agreement. And I was greatly rewarded for doing so when I was successful, which was often.

Impress the kids. Hah. Bring it on.

**-Roxas-**

Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I think I am seeing the real world.

My family has no money because my mom's cooking sucks and the restaurant has no business because there is no food due to the lack of culinary arts. My parents are divorced because they actually were never really able to agree on anything, and my brother is just full of shit.

In the real world, I'm holding a shotgun to my head. My finger is on the trigger and Kairi's perfect, glowing face is in front of me, begging me not to do it.

And maybe I did do it. But I know it would have felt wrong. So wrong.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Awkward clearing of the throat.

"Roxas? Hello?" I looked up into the eyes of my Advanced Algebra teacher and immediately regretted zoning out into my own little world. Half the class (the half that wasn't bored to death and were still alive and kicking) was staring at me, some laughing, some shaking their heads. Whatever. "Could you give us the answer, please?"

You honestly think I'll be able to give you the answer to a question you know I didn't hear? What a joke.

"Could I uh... Have the question again?" Sure, sometimes I felt like a complete asshole for wasting her time, but Miss Trepe was a bitch, and I was after all an asshole, so I did it anyway. But sensing the discord beneath the surface, I added a quick, "Please," on the end. She sighed loudly and shook her head.

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas..."

Yes, we've established my name is Roxas.

"What are we ever going to do with you?"

Leave me alone. I'm tired. I put the school's car in the ditch this morning. Can't you see I'm trying to get past the bad experience?

"I don't know," Was all I could manage. Weak.

"See me after class." And she stalked away across the room without another word to go ask some other student for the answer. Sweet relief. But she kept scowling in my general direction. Not so relieving. And not so good. If she called my mom again, I was so super fucking screwed.

Too many late assignments already for being about a month into the year. Already three failed tests and no class participation to speak of. I'd say I was averaging at a pretty below-average score. Shit, and progress reports due home next week.

Fuck me.

To tell the truth, I was so far past trying to impress my parents that I just wanted to let my life go to hell to show them how little I needed their approval. The only problem was that in doing so, I was also ruining things for myself trying to prove a point that was absolutely ridiculous by all standards. It was nice to see how intelligent I was. Really.

Instead of sitting there like an asshole who'd just smarted off to the teacher, who always smarted off to the teacher, I left my pencil (all I brought to class, because like I'd said before, I didn't care) and opened the door with a loud squeak, slammed it behind me, and headed my way down to the soda machine. Caffeine can do a lot for tired minds.

I bought myself a Mountain Dew and stared at the clock hanging above me. Ten-fifteen. Ten more minutes to English class.

Great.

As I sat there, chugging mountain dew, belching loudly, and staring at the clock, I caught sight of Sora from the corner of my eye, leading some girl down to the office. This one looked like she was about to throw up.

"Hey!" I yelled, giving a half-assed wave and jogging over to what was, in part, my identical flesh and blood.

"Hey," He said back, giving me a weird look.

"What's the occasion?" I asked, eyeing up the poor angel he was holding on to.

This girl was brunette, hair sticking slightly up on the ends, curving towards the sky. She was wearing a yellow shirt that, when I'd actually come to look at it, had some blood smeared across the stomach area, where she was holding her finger.

Sora lead her onward, not waiting for me to tag along, which I did anyway. "She cut herself in Foods class. Miss Gainsborough asked me to bring her to get a bandaid and maybe to lay down. She doesn't like blood much." I could see this in the disgust lingering on her face. Selphie. That was her name. And usually she was bubbly as can be, but not right now.

"Lemme take her in, and then we can go to English, all right?"

I nodded, unamused by the idea of more school. "Sure." Not that I even wanted to walk with my full-of-himself brother down the hallway. I guess it was just company. And I guess Sora was as good as it could get at the moment. I just hoped he didn't ask why I wasn't in Algebra.

You know, I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. English class was not nearly as bad my junior year as I'd always expected it was going to be. Really. Serious.

I'd always imagined the windows being barred shut and shackles attatched to our ankles. You get it. Scary, torture device stuff like out of one of those Saw movies. Hah. Those movies rock. But I must say I'd been happy to see the absense of those dark materials, disregarding my interest in the Saw franchise.

The room was very plesent, actually, and that means a lot coming from my mouth. Trust me. The walls were a light shade of green and the ceiling looked like a few art kids had tried to copy Michelangelo's work. It was decent, I guess. At least a lot better than I could do. Way better. But the best part of this class wasn't the way it looked. It wasn't the absense of torture devices. It wasn't even our kick-ass teacher. It was the fact that Kairi sat in front of me.

I could see the shiny, beautiful, red, just-past-shoulder-length hair, smell the shampoo she'd used (obviously cherry blossom), and see the outline of her bra strap through the tight pink shirt she was wearing. Damn, was she gorgeous. But enough of that. I'll get hard.

Our english teacher, Mr. Strife (a giant emo of an adult if I ever did see one in my life, but he was cool), was explaining our next project. Hopefully I'd get through this one, or be able to bribe Sora to write it for me.

"Okay, class," Mr. Strife- Cloud -began. "Today I'm going to ask you a question I think you'll find very important in your lives someday, if you haven't already."

I wondered what that could be. What's your favorite sex position? Favorite flavor of lube? Best bra size?

Okay, I'm a flaming sexual deviant. But only with Kairi sitting in front of me. That girl puts all these evil ideas in my head. Oh, but I love her to death.

Cloud continued. "I want all of you to think about who you'd most like to fall in love with." All of the sudden, there was an immense amount of chatter all around the classroom. Girls giggled, (So did Kairi, I saw her shake.) guys whooped, it was like a fucking circus. "And," He waited for the crowd to quiet down. "And I want all of you to tell me why you'd want to fall in love with them. What qualities do they have? What do they look like? Why does any of this matter to you or possibly to others?"

I saw Demyx, the class clown, shoot his hand in the air. Faster than the speed of light.

"Yes, Demyx?"

"Can we write about celebrities? Or does it have to be a real person?" Celebrities are real people, dumbass.

Cloud thought for a minute. Clearly, it was eating him from the inside out (hah hah). "Well, I would prefer it to be someone you've met, but celebrities are acceptable if you honestly can't think of anyone else." More whooping from the class.

I already knew who my paper was going to be about.

We all wanted to get with Kairi. Most guys just wanted to sleep with her, having heard the stories, and of course, so did I, but...

Really, rather than sexy, I would have described her as beautiful to the first person who asked, because I was so head-over-heels in fucking love with this amazing girl. She was bubbly, upbeat, had the voice of an angel... And I could just go on forever, talking about how amazing she was to me.

And that was when she turned around.

My heart faltered in my chest, skipping beats here and there, to-and-fro, playing hopscotch alongside my brain, which could come up with nothing to say to this beautiful face that was staring at me. And those eyes. Violet-colored. How often did you see that?

"Hey, Roxas." That voice chimed to me. "Who are you going to write your paper about?"

I had no answer for her. I shrugged. "No clue. You?"

"Probably not Hayner."

Ughhh that asshole of an ex she had. Hayner. I used to be friends with that kid, up until he and Kairi started dating two years ago. That broke my trust right in half, snapped it down the middle, threw it into a deep, dark pit, and burned it until it was nothing more than a pile of smoldering ash.

"Oh, well, you could write about me," I suggested. I was shy, but I was smooth. Kinda. I think so at least.

She smiled, and it lit up the room. "I'll think about it. Thanks for the suggestion." She laughed a little. "You're so cute, Roxas. I'm surprised you don't have a girlfriend." Then she turned around. Conversation over. It sounded pretty successful to me, except for that end part.

Why don't _you_ be my girlfriend?

I would have given her the whole world and then some. I would have thought of something more to say, but the bell rang, royally fucking up my chances.

Damnit, the world hated me.

**-Kairi-**

So I often find that life is confusing enough without adding my crazy, can't-take-a-hint ex-boyfriend into the mix, but just when I think I've seen the worst of it, pop! There he stands.

Ugh. Poor, pitiful me.

"Kairi!" Hayner, my ex of two-or-so-months that I dated for two-or-so-years, was holding my pink ipod in his grimey hands. Man, I wanted to smack that boy. "Can I borrow this? Pretty please?" Danger alert. Severe chance of self-destruction.

"And do what with it?" I was already fuming and I wasn't even halfway through the school day.

He faltered. "Just to... Borrow it."

"And do what? Take it home and make me a crazy playlist full of 'baby, come back to me' songs in hopes that I do indeed take you back? Forget that," I snapped, ripping my previously abused ipod from his hands and cramming it in my pocket. I was not in the mood for bullshit today.

"But, Kai-"

He never finished. I'd stalked away so fast you'd have thought I was running a marathon, minus the running part. Okay, so power walking a marathon. What do you want? I was moving quickly, and that was all that mattered.

That english essay our teacher was asking us to write was really starting to get to me. What did I look for in the person I wanted to be with?

Good looks, charm, the obvious things.

Someone who actually cared.

I wanted it better than either of my parents had ever had it. Their relationship had been a horribly rocky one, something I never wanted to experience hands-on in my life time, something too heart-wretching for me to think about. But I'll tell you about it.

Let me tell you something about myself, or, I guess, as the case happens to be, a few somethings. Or maybe more. I honestly don't know; I've stopped counting.

When I was little, like maybe three or four, I watched my dad bring home random girls he'd discovered at the bar every Thursday night, because those were the nights my mom was out of town for work meetings, conventions, parties, you name it. I think that's where she was, anyway. That's what I was told.

I think it's needless for me to say what my dad always ended up doing with those girls. He had a no-sleepover policy, so they were long gone before my mom could discover them.

This was normal, and I of course never said a word, being too young to know what was going on.

My dad got worse as a few years progressed. I watched him go through innumerable amounts of sluts, booze, cigarettes, maybe even drugs if I'd been paying any attention at all. By the time I was seven, he was bringing girls home when mom simply ran to the grocery store. Don't ask me how he managed; he just somehow always did.

I thought my dad was a rotten jerk. But that's why it came as a surprise to me when my mother set the paperwork in front of him, demanded a speedy divorce (can those be speedy?) and introduced me to her boyfriend, now technically fiancé, of five years.

So who was the real jerk? My dad for all the women he went through? My mom for cheating first? Or me, for keeping my mouth shut?

The world may never know.

I can tell you quite happily, however, that my stepfather Xemnas is a really nice guy. And my mother loves him very much.

As for my real father, Ansem? He's the principal of my school. And yes, I do get away with a lot of trouble. I do mean a lot. Right now, he's barreling down the hallway after me. You'd think he'd just get smart and call me to the office. But, to show he loves me, he's actually heading in my direction with a plate of cookies the Foods class probably just cooked.

I love my daddy.

"Kairi!" He says happily, and hits me lightly on the back. Then he holds out the plate to me and I grab a delicious chocolate-chip cookie, chalkful of amazingness. "How was English?"

"Good!" I say, taking a bite. "How's work?"

"Good!" He says. My father and I have been pretty agreeable recently. It's a good thing to note, since I've had a few general screwups in the past and I would never want those to come between us. Lucky me, they don't anymore. "Had a complaint from Miss Trepe about Roxas again, but other than that, it was a pretty uneventful day. Except for these cookies, of course. Excellent baking ability, kids these days."

"I agree," I said. "I should probably be getting to lunch, though. This kind of just spoiled it." He laughed.

"Well, it's always good to indulge a little, Kairi. Take it easy and enjoy the rest of the day. See you at home," He said, giving a small wave and offering cookies out to a few other in-the-right-place-at-the-right-time students.

With another smile in my father's direction, I turned and took off for my locker.

**-Roxas-**

School had been another trip through hell, as I often liked to describe it.

I'd fucked up behind the wheel, fucked up Algebra, fucked up my chances of talking to Kairi, fucked up lunch (I got detention, because of how rude I'd apparently been to Miss Trepe), and even fucked up History class, because I couldn't find Traverse Town on the map. Who cares about Traverse Town, anyway?

But as soon as I got out of school, things were a lot better.

Except I had to walk home with Sora.

Ew.

Okay, Sora's my brother and I guess he's not that bad, but it's really tough having an all-star brother and being kind of a failure. Being compaired really takes it out of you, if you know what I'm saying.

It was even worse than usual today, however, because he was asking me how school went. As though he hadn't heard.

"It was bullshit, to be honest." He laughed.

"You know, Rox, if you didn't try to upset the teachers so bad, you'd have a better chance." A better chance at what? Being an asshole who's full of himself, just like Sora was? No thank you. "Mom's gonna be mad."

"Tell me about it," I sighed. Might as well appreciate the fresh air while I can. I was going to be locked up for a century.

Sora nudged me. "I'm glad you didn't kill us this morning."

"Me too." This was true. Although if Leon had gone through the windshield, I wouldn't have felt too terrible. Sora probably wouldn't have either, to be honest. Leon really pissed me off. And it wasn't just behind the wheel. It was every day in general, because he was the teacher for Journalism, my favorite class, and no matter how much work I did he always related me to the shitty driver I was.

Someday, when I got my license (not if, but when), I was going to take that school vehicle and drive it right up his bitchy, pms-ing ass.

"I'm glad you didn't hit a deer."

"Me too."

"I'm glad Leon didn't kill you."

"Why are we talking about this?" Sora looked at me and shrugged, then readjusted the strap on his bag and stared straight ahead. We didn't share another word the rest of the way home. I'd effectively ended that conversation, fucked up again.

Man, I am just a giant fuck up today.

But I must tell you, it was a pretty enjoyable walk. The weather was nice, the birds were singing (I'm a sucker for animals), and the traffic wasn't too bad. After about twenty or so minutes, we were in view of our house, or mansion, or whatever-the-fuck it was.

And there was some unknown car in the driveway. It looked like a range rover. Like it could belong to my principal or my teacher.

Great.

**-Kairi-**

I shouldn't have to tell you this, but I feel like I should confess, because I feel terrible about it.

After my dad gave me that cookie, I went to the bathroom and I gagged it up. And I didn't eat my lunch. I stuffed it into the bathroom garbage and covered the top of it with a layer of toilet paper. Then I popped a mint in my mouth, grabbed my purse, and walked out of there as though nothing of the sort had happened.

I suffered the rest of the way through school. To be honest, my throat hurt a little bit. Not a good sign for a bulemic, but not really a rarely seen one, either.

Advanced Algebra, Painting and Drawing, Study Hall, and finally Economics. Then I walked to my locker and shoved some books in my backpack for dramatic effect. To tell you the truth, I didn't usually take anything home with me. Usually, I did my best to finish it in Study Hall. Just as I closed the door, picked my purse back up, and turned around, thinking I was home-free, I saw something extremely disturbing standing across the hall, looking in my direction.

Hayner. Damn it.

"Kairi," He said, giving out a breath of relief, possibly because he'd managed to find me, and running towards me, arms held out like he was going to envelope me in a crushing hug. I pushed him away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I asked, heat rushing to my face. "I _don't_ want to see you, I _don't_ want to talk to you, I _don't_ want to be near you! So leave me _alone_!"

Obviously, he was going to look hurt, but that had been my intention. I needed a restraining order.

"But I really want to work things out with you!" He said, too loudly, drawing too much attention to us. This was just turning out to be absolutely wonderful. "I don't care what you did, Kairi, I love you, and that will never change-"

"But I don't love you!" Now I was shouting. He needed to leave me the fuck alone. I needed space. What didn't he understand about this? " I don't want to work things out with you! I don't want to be with you! I don't need you! Now get out of my life and stop talking to me!" Again, I found myself walking away like a world champ running the mile... And again, minus the running part.

Lucky me, he didn't follow.

I went slamming my way through the front doors of the school, up the sidewalk, across the street, and headed in the general direction of a gas station that was conveniently placed right near where I lived.

When I got there, I had absolutely no idea what I even wanted.

But bulemics are supposed to eat a lot, aren't they? Then cough it back up? That's what I did anyway. So I decided if that was what was going to happen, I might as well get something that was going to entertain me and distract me from the plight I was in.

I went the way of the candy aisle and glanced at the chocolate. Yuck. That would just look like complete shit coming back up, now wouldn't it?

Disgusted, I grabbed a giant bag of sour gummy worms into my arms and stumbled my way to the front counter. I thought I saw several other customers eyeing me skeptically, but I mostly ignored them. Except for this real full-of-shit guy who dressed like he thought he was the real O.G. I shook my head and rolled my eyes when he nodded in my general direction, line of vision clearly not focused on my face or even my one grocery item. Go figure.

The cashier in this place at least looked like a normal person. Boring brown hair, hazle eyes, glasses, what I expected to see of the general public.

"Nice comparison shopping I see."

The guy standing behind me, however, was not.

I found myself looking him up and down, taking in raver-red, spikey hair, brighter-than-neon-lights-when-you're-on-crack green eyes, some crazy ass tattoos underneath each of these. Besides this, he was wearing a leather jacket, half-zipped with a stained white shirt underneath, some ripped blue jeans, black leather combat boots, and his nails looked disgusting. He had some strange smirk on his face that really, really made me wonder.

"Uhm, what?" Okay, what weirdo guy had just said to me made absolutely no sense. He just smiled his odd smile at my confusion, like he'd expected this response.

"I'm just saying," He began, looking down at me. One other thing, this guy was tall. At least six-and-a-half feet tall, if not more. "You skipped buying three seperate meals because you noticed a jumbo bag of gummy worms was cheaper. Comparison shopping."

Wow, what?

"Oh...yeah, I guess..." I decided that instead of standing there looking like an idiot, I should probably just do my best to agree with him.

He laughed. "You're a smart one."

"Thanks..." How awkward. I paid for my gummy worms and did my best to hightail it out the glass door, you know, the see-through one that tempts you with visuals of the outside world and safety from crazy creeper guys with bad jokes and tattoos in weird places, but, in a moment of well-hidden panic, I got push confused with pull and couldn't manage to open it.

My brain was about to register what was going on when a hand shot out above me and gave a good shove, and just like that, the parking lot awaited me. It was like magic.

"You must be having a worse day than I am," crazy, creeper, weirdo-raver guy said, smiling all funny at me again. If he hadn't been a crazy creeper, his smile might have been kind of cute. "First, you can only afford gummy worms, then you can't open a door the right way."

"Who says gummy worms are all I can afford?" I turned to him, eyes fixed on that stupid grin that I was somehow finding endearing.

"Oh, sorry," He said. "You just looked helpless."

I wanted to punch this freak of nature, but at the same time, yeah, I was glad it was someone who could make a joke of the situation who had helped me out of the door instead of some asshole that wouldn't have let me live it down. Still, I didn't know what to say to this guy.

"But don't worry," He said, shrugging. "You're a very pretty girl, and it's cute you can't get the door open. Where's your boyfriend to open it for you?" I'm normally not one that lets her emotions get the best of her, but he'd hit a nerve with that awful word boyfriend. It made me think immediately of Hayner and that is not a good subject for me.

Once again, instead of acting stupid and awkward, I decided it wouldn't hurt for me to tell this random and complete total stranger the truth. Who was he going to say anything to?

"I broke up with my boyfriend because he was too clingy."

Understanding lit up those bright green eyes, his eyebrows raised, and he nodded, emphasizing his words. "Ahh, yes, I think I can see you getting irritated by that. Just like any other girl probably would. I think you did the right thing by letting him go."

This time, I nodded, glad to have the backup for once in my life. I considered what this stranger was saying to me. I wondered all at once what was going to happen now that I was finished with Hayner. Would I be able to be with Sora? I hoped so. Even his brother Roxas wouldn't have been a complete waste of my time. I also wondered if everyone at school thought I was a slut for cheating on Hayner with one other guy (which would be Sora, as fate would have it).

I was actually about to say something else to him when he walked around to the side of me, leaned down because he was so freakishly damn tall, and held a hand out.

"Name's Axel. Nice to meet you."

I shook my head at the sheer idiocy of it all but gave him my hand in return.

"Kairi," was my simple reply.

Although at first sight Axel had presented himself to be a crazy creeper, he was actually turning out pretty decent. Except for the whole look he had going on. That was a major turn-off.

"Well, Kairi," Axel took up the conversation again, giving me another once-over, something I wasn't very appreciative of. "I hope you enjoy your bag of gummy worms and have an excellent rest of your day..." He looked thoughtful, just for a moment. "And an excellent weekend. Come to think of it, it is Friday, isn't it?"

I nodded.

"Any plans?" He asked. I wondered why.

"Not that I can think of. Not except for some English paper I have to write." Come to think of it, that English paper (and Hayner, but I didn't want to mention that) was the entire reason I was irritated, and buying a bag of gummy worms so I could see the pretty colors come up after I'd finished eating them. It was depressing that I thought about it that way, but I guess that's just the way I am.

Axel nodded. "School sucks. Well, see ya around." And with that, he was off.

What I did next was absolutely unexplainable. I don't know why it happened, I don't know why I let myself do it. All I know is that I'd felt this incredible longing just to talk to someone I didn't know. Spilling my guts out to some stranger seemed innocent enough, and hell, Axel was enough of an unknown yet that I'd probably relieve myself in some way, shape or form yet tonight.

"Hey, Axel," I called. He turned back around, an expectant look on his face. Did this happen often, I wonder? Or was it just me? "What are you doing tonight?"

He shrugged. "Nothing. Why?"

"Wanna go see a movie?" I asked. Oh, man, my father would never forgive me for this one. First of all, I was never supposed to talk to strangers unless it was absolutely necessary, and second of all, I was planning to go see a film with some crazy creeper identified as Axel that I'd never set eyes on before in my life, knew nothing about, and who could have been scheming to murder me.

"Sure!" He lit up like the forth of July. I hoped he wasn't a total loser with no friends that he got this excited over one movie. "Where do you live?"

And he was planning to drive. Hah. I was going to get into a car with a complete stranger and go to a dark movie theatre with him.

"Doesn't matter." I walked over to his car, a red Grand AM GT and waited next to the passenger side door. "Ready when you are."

"Alrighty then." And we got into his car, and left.

**-Sora-**

Some strange car was parked in our driveway, and I was determined to know what was going on.

To be honest with you, I thought it was someone from the school, probably there to tell my mom that it was the last straw, and if Roxas didn't shape up he was going to get into a lot of trouble. Whatever that meant for him. I think Roxas thought the same thing, because he swallowed hard and walked a little slower as we approached the house.

When I opened the front door, I was surprised to see my parents sitting on the couch with a tall-looking, built, silver-haired man with greenish eyes across from them in an armchair, holding some paperwork and in mid-sentence. Our dad was holding a pen.

This was a good thing. Maybe they'd been discovered and now they'd rake in even more money. Then they could afford to send Roxas to a nice college where they could help him out.

"Sora, Roxas!" Our dad said, enthusiastically. "Come have a seat!"

We did as we were told, me dropping my bag close to the door, and Roxas, who of course had no bag, who never had one, just shrugged and sat down next to me on our other sofa. "This, my boys, is Sephiroth Crescent. He owns the Crescent Enterprises Company. You know the one!"

This definately meant something good.

"Yeah," I nodded, looking positive.

"He's agreed to sign us!" Our mom said, halfway to tears from the excitement. "He and his son will be staying around this area for a little while to oversee some important changes. Oh! This is his son, Riku!"

And that was when it hit me.

Riku, as he was named, must have been in the kitchen getting himself something to eat, because he came out carrying a salad my mom had made the previous night. My breath hitched in my throat when I saw him.

He was muscular, tall, tan, gorgeous...

Silver hair, green eyes, nice ass.

"Nice to meet you," He said, giving us an all-knowing smile. His voice was something else, too, something alluring but strong.

"You're staying here for how long?" Roxas asked, always rude.

"Couple weeks. Maybe," Riku replied, looking undeterred.

"Good to know," I said. I felt Roxas's eyes on me, and he knew exactly what was going through my mind. He was relatively used to this, and I thanked him for putting up with it so well. "Nice to meet you too, by the way. I'm Sora. This is my brother, Roxas."

"Twins," My mother added, because really, we didn't look enough alike.

"Ah," Riku nodded, settling down across from us on the piano bench. "Thought so."

"I'll just need you to sign here," Sephiroth said, pointing a line out to my Dad. "And then we'll be done for the day, and Riku and I can give you your space." That was not necessary. I didn't want Riku to leave. I wanted to talk. I wanted to do more than talk, in fact...

Dad signed it, smiling brightly. Then Sephiroth stood up. Riku was a fast eater, the plate almost completely empty already as he made his way back to the kitchen to rinse it.

"Tomorrow, then," Sephiroth said, shaking both of my parents hands, then mine and Roxas's. "We can talk about the renovations."

"Nice meeting you," Riku said, nodding at us as he followed Sephiroth out the door.

Damn. I hoped he was coming tomorrow, too.

"Oh, Roxas," My mom said, suddenly interrupting my hopes. "Your principal called..."

"Oh, no..." Roxas groaned, sinking down with his head in his hands.

It was going to be a long night.

A/N- Hope it's long enough for a first chapter. There was a lot that needed to be said to set everything up. If you have any questions, feel free to email. Reviews are much appreciated. Thanks!


	2. Suffocating

_My heart was pounding, but in my stomach._

_I remember the details of the day, forever imprinted into my mind as I lay with my limbs splayed, shuddering. The leaves were deathly beautiful; red, gold, flaming orange. Nature was alive with color, while inside, my body seemed to be dying._

_My breath was coming in odd rasps, scaring me. And then, suddenly, my breath wasn't there at all._

_It was like drowning. Exactly like drowning._

_I'd heard the screams when I'd collapsed, but now they were fading to nothing. My beautiful autumn world was darkening around me._

_One last time, I felt my heart beat uneven, then everything disappeared._

_And in that one moment, my life changed._

_Forever._

**-Kairi-**

"Where are we going?"

From the second I'd found myself in Axel's car, everything about me that made me loyal to my father had vanished. All those promises, "I will never, _ever_ talk to strangers," were simply ghosts of my past. I'd discovered a new person inside of myself; stronger, braver, more daring and devilish, and I welcomed her with an open mind. The Kairi I'd never bothered to know, who I'd shut out upon request, well, I liked her an awful lot.

I felt free, unchained; _happy_.

Axel regarded me with a smug look on his face, but only briefly, as we'd made our way onto the freeway, going at the very least seventy-five miles-per-hour. "You'll find out, doll. Just have some patience. I promise I'll make it worth your while."

And I believed him. I loved the way he called me doll, too. It made me feel wanted. Not how Hayner had made me feel, or Sora, or anyone else from my past. It was new. A new chapter in the story of my life that had become so dull and boring. "Alright," I replied, smiling.

The radio was set to a rock station. Nostalgic, it calmed me, but was exciting all the same.

We drove for a while before finding ourselves in a city that was familiar to me; Traverse, where my friends and I would often scheme shopping trips on the weeknights after school, looking for new outfits to color ourselves in. Traverse was huge, with a three-story shopping mall, a water park, and every restaurant you could think of, and then some. With the windows rolled down, I could smell the ocean.

"Do you live here?" I asked, hoping the answer would be affirmative. Axel nodded. "Wow, _lucky_!"

He laughed. "Don't get bored too often. Can definitely find almost everything I need here." We'd missed rush hour, but the streets were still fairly busy, lined with cars of every make and model. The sky was just beginning to fade into an orange-purple. I silently wondered to myself whether my father would miss me or not, but let it go. He'd probably assume I'd gone out with a girlfriend, and head out to enjoy the night life as well.

It took a while, but eventually we pulled into the parking lot of an average-sized apartment complex. The siding was white. It was two-story, adorned with flowers, bushes and vines, making it look very homey. It didn't appear at all unattended to. The owners obviously cared a lot about their tenants living quarters, and kept it looking trimmed.

Axel lived on the second floor, in apartment 204.

"Home sweet home," He said, unlocking the door and opening it for me, motioning me forward. I stepped into a dining room area, kitchen with an open counter right alongside. From there, I could see the living room, and the balcony across. It wasn't untidy, but it wasn't quite as pristine as I liked my own living quarters. Well, whatever. It would do on my night of adventure.

Otherwise, it looked pretty normal for some crazy-creeper guy with tattoos below his eyes. Props to him.

As if reading my mind, he began chatting. "Doesn't suit me, does it?" To be honest, I didn't know Axel well enough yet to decide whether or not this apartment suited him. In my opinion, it wasn't bad.

"Not sure yet," I replied, making my way through the kitchen to plop on the big, plushy orange couch in the living room. I watched a smirk cross his face.

"I enjoy the 'yet' in that sentence."

Would I really hang out with Axel beyond tonight? Who knew? Certainly not me, but I had to be honest with myself; honest enough to say that I had a very forboding feeling about the whole event, that I might just be _dying_ to return here on some night when my day had not gone well enough. Those nights when I wished I had more than crying myself to sleep, I would summon this place in my memory and return here, just maybe.

I crossed my legs. Wearing a skirt, I didn't need Axel sneaking a peak, or getting any funny ideas. I smiled at him. "So... What are we doing here?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I figured, since we're friends now, I should probably show you where I live. Maybe someday, you can do the same." I hoped I didn't look too shocked by that statement. Friends? Since when?

I guess you shouldn't just get into some random person's car and assume nothing is going to come of that. That's a rarity.

"Maybe." I kept my gaze on him.

Axel was still standing in the doorway. He stretched, looking very relaxed at the stranger that was me in his house, and let out a contented sigh. "Do you drink?" What a loaded question for a seventeen-year-old girl.

My answer probably came as no surprise. "You know it."

"Good, good," He said, heading to the fridge. He returned with two bottles of beer, the light kind, which I was used to. I never could manage to get used to the ice stuff. It knocked me on my ass way too quickly, and I had too many memories I'd never get back from black outs at holiday parties with classmates. "Hope this is acceptable."

I smiled. I tried to open my bottle, unsuccessfully. Seeing this, Axel snatched it from my hands and easily twisted the top off for me, giving a smug smile as he did so. He handed it back to me, and I took an awfully large swig. "Slow down," he laughed.

"Can't," I replied. "I came out here to forget what happened today. I'm going to make the best of it." And with that, I took another large gulp.

He nodded. "Cheers to that." We clanked our bottles together, toasting a new friendship that I was still slightly unsure about. What I was sure about, was that I'd gotten out of certain-to-be-boring Twlight for the evening, and found myself in Traverse, the city that never sleeps. I had alcohol, a nicely furnished apartment, and a whole new world to explore, almost all to myself. I was elated.

_Bring on the night._

"So your day was bad because of your ex... Tell me about him." Alcohol makes you open your mouth real wide. Sober, you'd never consider spilling secrets, especially to a stranger, and you'd never let them in. But alcohol... It does funny things to your judgement. I wasn't even drunk yet, but oh-so-willing to chat about Hayner. Not that I still had a thing for him, (I didn't) but maybe I wasn't completely past a stint with a man I'd thought I was in love with.

I literally chugged the rest of my beer. I'd need a good dose to help pry whatever feelings seemed to be dying (yet clearly burning) within me, out. "Yeah. Hayner." I contemplaited going to the fridge for another drink, but thought it rude. "I uh..." My eyes were directed on Axel. "Another beer?"

"Of courrrrse!" He almost sang, dashing to the fridge. I was beginning to like Axel a lot. He was very at ease, very devil-may-care, very my type. He just needed a shower. He returned quickly, popping the cover off before handing the beer to me. "Anything for a night like this."

A night like this? I almost thought twice about what he could mean. But I didn't.

I took another large swig. "Hayner." Axel sat down next to me, almost uncomfortably close, and yet it didn't seem to bother me. "We dated for like... Two years. And it was great for a long time. Really great. But there was a time when we broke up in the middle of it... For like a week. And I lost my virginity to someone else." I briefly remembered _one_ of my hookups with Sora. "He had an issue with that. We got back together and I thought things would be okay... But they weren't."

"Lemme guess," Axel intervened, a knowing look on his face. His voice turned whiney, mocking. "I wasn't your first! Ahh! Oh no! Lemme go cry about it over here!"

I nodded. "Exactly that. But I broke up with him because he was afraid to have sex... I couldn't deal with it. I was ready." I thought about what I'd said for a minute, then corrected myself. "Actually, he broke up with me because he said I was 'moving too fast.' So I moved on. Then he wanted me back. By then, it was too late I guess."

"He should've listened then. It's his own fault."

As bad as I still did feel about the whole Hayner and Sora thing, Axel's words comforted me. Maybe more than they should have. Enough to make me believe that I had been right in what I'd done. They do say that everything happens for a reason. My running away and losing my v-card to Sora may have just been the push I'd needed to eventually see that Hayner was really not the right person for me. Maybe.

Axel finished his own beer and set it on the coffee table. Then turned to me.

"Do you smoke?"

_No._

I nodded. I'd smoked before, generally unsuccessfully. Usually I coughed up a lung in the process, but I'd fake it for him at this point. _Fake it for him at this point, haha_.

"I'm about ready for a cigarette." He pulled a pack from his pocket, along with a lighter, and proceeded to stand up, heading towards the porch. I pushed myself from the ground, beer still in hand. I followed.

He handed me one when we got outside, shutting the screen door behind us. Even lit it for me, too.

I inhaled, for once getting it down without a coughing fit. I was surprised by how relieving it felt for nicotine to fill my lungs, and pointedly I worried that I would get easily addicted. I didn't need yellow teeth, nails and bad breath for the rest of my life.

I began to realize that the entire night we'd only been talking about me.

"Axel," I started, taking another drag. This one burned the back of my throat a little, almost made me cough. "What's your story?"

He shrugged. "I work at a factory during the week on second shift, but right now I'm laid off. Parents live here in town. Don't bother me much. Had several girlfriends, one of them crazy like your ex. Try to avoid her, but not always possible. Sometimes things get heavy. Other than that, just living life, you know?"

I did know. I was trying to live my life right now too. Wasn't that what tonight was all about?

"I see," I said, not questioning a word he'd just spoken. Why bother? Would I know him after tonight? I wasn't sure.

He finished his cigarette long before I did, taking huge drags and exhaling. Possibly from smoking pot previously, although I wasn't sure. I smoked my cigarette slowly, actually enjoying it, for once, and when I was finished, I mirrored him and chucked it off the balcony.

"More beer?" He asked. I nodded. Of course.

We entered back into the living room and sat next to each other on the couch again, this time slightly closer. And with two beers each. It was funny, but it didn't worry me. I generally was peeved by guys sitting almost on top of me, but with Axel, I guess I was just trying to enjoy my evening away from the usual life. I wanted to forget everything. But to forget everything...

You have to confess everything, first.

One thing I should mention about drinking: It's almost certain to cloud your judgement if you have too much of it. That was exactly my problem; too much, too fast, and not a care in the world, unwilling to stop.

I spilled my heart out to a man I'd never met before in my life. I ignored my phone when I saw it was my father, ignored the voicemail icon that popped up after the 'missed call' screen. I ignored the fact that it was getting close to ten PM, I was an hour away from home, and I had school the following morning.

I went with it when Axel pulled the two white pills from a pocket somewhere. I popped one in my mouth with no second thoughts, no regards, no anything.

And I kept on the alcohol.

"Slow down," Axel eventually said, reaching for the beer in my hand. I shifted away, unwillingly. "You're going to be sick, doll. I don't want you to get sick." I was so drunk already, and whatever that pill was, it definitely wasn't helping me keep my balance. I didn't know how I could possibly convince Axel I would be okay. Hell, I wasn't even sure myself if I was going to be okay.

I felt sleepy, fading away slowly, comfortably. It was like being on a cloud. Suddenly, rightside-up was upside-down, and my beer was the wrong way, spilling all over me.

"Oh Jesus," I heard Axel say, although there was no anger in his tone. It surprised me, even in my dizzy state of mind. I was losing consciousness. "Come on." I felt him pull me from the couch, supporting me. If I remember correctly, it was slightly awkward, him being at least a foot or two taller than me, but I let him lead me to the bathroom.

He sat me down on the toilet, and went to get a damp cloth. When he returned, he began dabbing at my clothes, my pink tank top, my blue jean skirt, but really, we both knew that wasn't doing any good.

And I was so _dizzy._

So drunk, I can't remember very well. But I _think_ I recall what happened.

He'd been dabbing my shirt, and this had been in my opinion, unsuccessful, since I was still soaked. Possibly it was more water than beer at this point, but I was uncomfortable. "Axel," I whined, "Can't I borrow one of your shirts?"

"Yeah," He said. "Don't move." I must have been rocking, because he steadied me where I was. He left the room, turning down the hallway, disappearing.

While he was gone, I looked around the bathroom.

Blue walls with white smears of paint, but purposefully painted, like clouds on an ocean. White tile floor. Blue rugs, one in front of the shower, one in front of the toilet, one in front of the sink. No windows, because of where the bathroom was placed in the apartment. Between a hallway, a bedroom (I presumed), the living room and the kitchen. White porcelain sink, toilet, and tub. Cabinets in the far corner, across from the toilet. No curtain on the shower. Rather, the glass was a certain way that you wouldn't get the details of who was behind the sliding door.

I felt gross.

Axel was still rummaging around for a shirt, I presumed. It was taking forever. I got nervous, rocking back and forth on the toilet seat. Back and forth, back and forth, until, quite suddenly, I only went back, not forth. Back, off the right end of the toilet, collapsed on the floor, my limbs somehow strangely tangled.

I had no energy.

Axel returned, shirt in hand, almost dropping it when his green eyes caught my half-open, red rimmed blue ones. He shook his head, clearly having dealt with this type of behavior before. "What did I tell you? Too much beer..." He slowly walked over to me and knelt down, wedging his left hand under my back and then wrapping his arm around me, trying to get a good hold.

Alcohol makes you do the strangest things.

I kissed him then, this man that I'd never before seen in my life, prior to today's events. I kissed him, and I enjoyed it.

The very best part was that he kissed me back.

Even drunk, I remember kissing Axel. His lips were oddly sweet, despite the countless bottles of beer he'd consumed. They were rich and full. Heavenly. It was a sweet release, an escape from the memories of Hayner; an escape I'd needed so desperately.

It lasted not longer than a few moments, but that was enough to never forget. When we pulled away, I imagine I'd been looking at him dreamily. He was certainly doing the same to me. "Kairi..." He said my name so softly, lust lacing his tone. He bit his lower lip.

_Sexy._

I couldn't stop myself. Suddenly I was pulling his shirt over his head, undoing his belt, the zipper of his pants...

He was hard as a rock. I was so drunk, satisfying physical need was beginning to come naturally to me. Instinctively, I slid a hand down his boxers. He gasped. All I could do was smile seductively (or what I thought was seductive), and wrap my fingers around him. He bucked into my hand, and I moved it against him, down the length, enjoying the noises he was making. This continued for maybe a minute or so before he forcefully grabbed my hand with his, and pinned it against the wall.

"You're not the only one who gets to have all the fun." His voice was rough, ragged.

Axel took my other wrist with his right hand, pushing it next to my motionless one, then proceeded to push my shirt up, caressing my stomach, kissing it as my shirt came off. He regarded my pink-gemmed navel piercing and my black bra for a few mere seconds before slipping the straps downwards. They hung on my shoulders, loosely.

He licked his lips, then smirked. "There's something else." My flats came off. He began to run a hand on the calve of my left leg, working his way upwards, making me tremble expectantly. "Ahhh," He said, knowingly, using both hands to roll my skirt up with ease. I felt him get a grip around the elastic. He tugged my panties down, leaving them around the bottoms of my ankles. I took a deep breath.

I laid back as Axel began at my stomach and kissed a line all the way to my chin, pausing briefly. "You ready?" He asked.

All I could do was nod.

He kissed me then, a deep, moving kiss full of lust and want. As he did so, he pushed his way inside of me, slowly, thrusting in and out so it wouldn't be quite as painful. He was rather big. When he got all the way in, I gasped. It felt amazing.

I rocked my hips against his, grabbing his ass and pulling him close, creating a grinding motion that quickly brought me to a climax. Instead of stopping to check on me, he kept thrusting, faster, harder, needy...

He came inside me, finishing with a relieved sigh, knocking my head into the wall.

Breathing heavily, he muttered, "Sorry." I just nodded, pushing myself up as he pulled out of me, sticky and messy. I began to redress myself, still slightly drunk.

"Would it be possible for you to take me home?" I asked. "I have school in the morning, and my dad's probably pissed by now." The second part of that statement might have been a lie. I doubted my father would be angry. He never seemed to mind much when I showed up, late at night. Then again, he had called and left a voicemail, and I had ignored it.

Axel pulled his pants up and re-did his belt. "Sure." And as if it was an afterthought, he studied me and asked, "How old did you say you were again?"

Uh-oh.

I blushed. "Seventeen."

"Shit..." He looked worried, but I didn't think he should've been.

"Don't worry," I comforted, reaching for his arm. "It's not like I'll tell anyone. And it's not like I'm about to go the cops and turn you in. How old are you, by the way?"

He smiled, possibly relieved. He raked a hand through his hair, thoughtful, and answered, "Twenty-two next month. Lemme smoke quick and chug some water and then I'll get you on your way home." He turned towards the doorway. "You should probably call your dad. Your phone's been going off an awful lot. Not sure if you noticed."

I hadn't.

Sure enough, when I made my way to my cell, I had six missed calls and three new voicemails. But they weren't all from my dad. Only the first one was, with him telling me, very unconcerned with my whereabouts, that he'd be out late tonight, and I should go ahead and find myself some dinner. That was nice. The other voicemails (and five missed calls) were from Hayner. I wanted to chuck my phone.

"Kairi, it's Hayner. Where are you? I saw your dad out and I came to your house but you weren't home. I just wanna talk. Please call me back." The first one. I hit seven.

"Kairi, please answer! I know you're upset with me but I miss you so much babe... I just want to hear your voice again. Please, please call me." The second. Disgusted, I deleted it and shook my head.

Axel returned from his cigarette on the porch and saw the angry look on my face. "What's wrong, doll?" I sighed.

"Hayner," I replied. "That's what's wrong. I grabbed my bag and headed towards the front door as he grabbed himself a bottle of water. "I'll tell you about it in the car."

"Kay," He said, following me.

On the ride home, I thought deeply to myself. I couldn't get away from Hayner, it seemed, no matter what I did or what I said. I considered telling him where I'd been this evening, but I really didn't want Axel to get in trouble and end up on the sex offender list. No. This was definitely going to take some more drastic measures.

Axel and I chatted on the long ride home. About life. About relationships, families, mistakes, triumphs, school, work, avoiding what had just happened with us. This was probably a good thing, because by the time Axel turned into my driveway to drop me off, guess who was standing there?

Hayner, arms crossed, looking pissed and trying to get a good glimpse of who I was with.

"Good luck," Axel said, nodding at me and handing me a piece of paper with his number on it. "Call me if you need to escape again." I smiled.

"I definitely will. Have a good night, and thanks for... everything." He smirked, gave me a little wave, and backed out of my driveway, taking off like a bat out of hell into the night. Unwillingly, I turned to face Hayner, summoning all my patience and hoping he wouldn't end up dead on my front lawn.

It was going to be one hell of a night.

**-Roxas-**

Another shitty day at work.

I was standing in front of the taco line, exactly the place I'd been sedentry for about three hours now. It wouldn't have been so bad, but today we barely seemed to have any business, the manager was a dick, and to top it all off, I had to take a serious piss.

But I really didn't want to move.

Yeah, I'm fucking lazy and I know it. I wish I could've pissed on the cold line, all over the lettuce, tomatoes, onions, what have you, because that is exactly how much I cared whether or not a customer would get sick. At least I know I should never take a management position. They'd shut me down in a real big hurry.

And today was especially trying. I had a lot on my mind, what with doing shitty in school, Kairi still not my girlfriend, and the Crescent father and son entourage constantly tying up my home life. I hated where I was and I hated the idea of going home afterwords. There was nowhere I could find happiness today. As a matter of fact, it seemed there was nowhere I could find happiness ever. Go figure.

But back to business. As depressed as everything made me, tacos were easy. Life sucked, but tacos were easy. Easy tacos. Easy.

None the less, the one customer we did have in the drive through was beginning to irritate me.

"Well, what comes on a regular taco?" Some old lady.

Olette, standing near the order taker register, bubbly as always, was quick to answer the question. "A regular taco comes with the lettuce and cheddar. Supreme includes tomatoes, sour cream and onions."

"What?" Get a hearing aid, lady.

"Regular has lettuce and cheddar cheese, and a supreme taco has tomatoes, sour cream and onions." Pregnant pause.

"I really can't hear you. I'm just going to drive up." Wow. And it would have been easy, had the lady just driven up to the window, but there was another pregnant pause or so before we heard, "My car won't go anywhere! What's going on?"

Olette shot a nervous glance in my direction. "Ma'am, are you sure that your car is on?" Now that she mentioned it, I honestly couldn't hear an engine or a sound of any sort.

The lady laughed. "Oh, silly me, silly me!" I heard the ignition as the car came to life. And in the meantime, with her headset off, Olette burst into a fit of laughter. We had some real winners around this area, apparently.

"Roxas, can you even believe that?" Olette asked between giggles. I shook my head. To be honest, I probably should have enjoyed this display more, seeing as idiot people were the only real entertainment I got from my job. Maybe I really would have been better off working for my parents at their fancy ass restaurant. Then again, maybe not. I especially did not want to see my mother for any long period of time after the call she'd gotten from Ms. Trepe a few nights ago. I was lucky she'd even let me go to work.

Still unamused, I wandered back over to my taco line and waited for the idiot lady to communicate whether she wanted a regular taco or a supreme taco.

"Roxas," Olette called back. "Two regular soft tacos." Just as she'd finished telling me, the order popped up on the screen. Sure enough, two plain jane soft shell tacos. Easy as pie. I got the shells on the grill as my manager, Irvine, sauntered out of the office. He stopped dead right next to me, and I mean up-my-ass-close.

Get out of my damn bubble.

"Don't you still need a break?" He asked me, nonchalantly. Obviously. I'd been needing to take a piss for about an hour now.

Instead of making a smart ass comment I knew was sure to get me written up, I simply nodded and continued on with the creation of my two boring, identical soft shell tacos. I'd already fucked up school, no need to fuck up at work too.

"After this order then, give your headset to Zexion and go on break." Sweet relief.

I quickly finished the tacos up, put them in a noisy plastic bag, and proceeded to hand that to Olette, who was ready with napkins, a reciept and some sauces. During this transaction, Zexion passed by, snatched my headset, and mosied towards the line. Oh, how Zexion hated taco line. Ha ha. I stuck my tongue out at his retreating form, then quickly turned back to Olette, who looked flustered.

"You wouldn't believe the stupidity of some people," Olette said, as she stuffed the contents of her hands into the bag. I seriously doubted that one. Working at a taco joint made you more than aware of idiocy. "I asked if she wanted her tacos hard or soft, and she said, 'hot sauce.' Seriously!" Irritated, she made her way towards the window to deliver the food.

Me, on the other hand, I headed to the register to punch out.

It just happened to be my luck that day that the register wanted to be an asshole. Simply put, it would not take my punch number. And I really, **really** had to piss.

"Irvine!" I called. Like before, he came from the office, only this time, stomping his feet like he had better things to do than see why an employee would be summoning him. Fucking jerk.

"This had better be important!" He said, glaring. "I'm trying to get the order put into the computer before four!" He had a whole two goddamn hours to do it.

I simply took my hat off, slightly shook my had-been trapped hair out, and glared right back. "Well, the computer won't let me punch out. What do you suggest I do in this serious situation?" Smart-ass me. And I didn't give a shit.

He groaned. "I'll take care of it! Just hurry up and go on your break! I need you back for prep! This store doesn't run itself, you know!" That said, he turned on his heel and jogged back to the office.

"Fine," I murmered to myself. Time to take care of my needy bladder.

Now, I would just like to take this time to say, whoever designed the layout for our store did a horrible job. The employee door that led to the dining area, which was between myself and the bathroom, opened up into a corner area where kids and their parents would sometimes gather to stare intently at the toy machines. Nine times out of ten, you wouldn't have to worry about it, so I didn't worry, seeing as how we were dead and all.

What a mistake.

I shoved that door open, in a hurry to relieve myself, and felt the resistance of whom, or what, I'd managed to hit.

"Ahh!" I heard the statement that probably reflected pain on this unlucky girl's account. Feeling like an even bigger asshole than usual, I snaked my way around the door so I wouldn't have to open it any farther, and stopped dead to examine the damage.

Pretty girl. Platinum blonde hair, cerulean eyes not unlike mine, dressed in a white scarf, a white shirt, blue jeans and some white flats. Poor thing.

The force had knocked her to the ground, where she was trying to sit up, massaging the right side of her head like it was nobody's business. I'd hit her hard.

"Sorry about... that," I started, leaning down and offering a hand. She took it gratefully, and I pulled her up. She was light as a feather. "Guess I don't know my own strength."

To my surprise, she smiled. "It's okay. A lot of bad things seem to happen to me lately. I'm getting kind of used to it, to be honest." Sad. Her life was beginning to sound like mine. "I won't sue you or anything." That was good.

"Well, that's a relief," I replied, giving a small sigh. "Name's Roxas."

"Naminé," She replied. "Sorry to be in your way." Sorry to be in my way? Sounded almost masochistic to me. Sounded something similar to myself.

"Nah, it was my fault. I'm in a hurry to get to... Uh..." How embarassing would it be to say that I was rushing to the bathroom to take a serious piss? Probably pretty embarassing, but I'd never seen this girl, and chances are, I would probably never see her again, so I just went with it. "The bathroom. I've had to piss for like... An hour."

She laughed. "Oh, okay, I'll let you go." Just like that, she walked away and sat down at the corner table, adjacent to the bathroom, and started almost obsessively examining the flip menu we had displayed. How strange.

But whatever. Bathroom time.

**-Riku-**

I felt like absolute shit. And yet, the funny thing is, nothing was really wrong.

Off heroin, it was difficult to feel good about anything. I outright despised being at some random, gargantuan house in the middle of unfamiliar Twilight Town, trying to concentrate on the task my father had given me, and just all in all, feeling perfectly _ordinary_. Because I was not ordinary by any standards.

These people had been up my ass since the night we'd arrived at their home. Even at our hotel, it seemed impossible to avoid them, not because they were so intent on the big bucks they were being offered (although I'm quite positive they were), but because they were locked in an all-out attempt to help me feel more comfortable in this home-away-from-home. Go figure. It can be rather difficult to take a hit when you've constantly got people up your ass with a magnifying glass.

And this is why when I was finally offered the chance to spend the weekend with their son, Sora, I took it gratefully.

My thought process revolved around the theory that getting a needle in my arm wouldn't be quite as complicated with only Sora to avoid. He seemed like he generally minded his own business. His brother Roxas just straight up avoided me. It all made me wonder whether or not I would be able to use the boys to "convince" their parents further. Not as though they needed more convincing.

Currently, Sora and I were in the process of surveying the downtown area. Not horribly exciting, but certainly made things easy to make an excuse and sneak off somewhere, then claim I got lost and show up back at the hotel a bit later. Actually, maybe a lot a bit later. Much, much later.

We'd decided to walk, for the exercise as Sora had suggested (he _had _mentioned being an athlete, and _had_ used several soccer terms to describe occuring events), and mostly because I didn't feel like screwing around trying to find a parking place for the Range Rover. After all, if I was going to take a detour, it would seem so rude of me to leave Sora to walk home, wouldn't it? I certainly thought so. Sora was, as I had noticed, lean and muscular, sexy, with those deep blue eyes and hair that fell perfectly all on it's own. The things I would have loved to do to that boy. But... Back to reality.

We were passing by a small clothing shop on main street when the hunger finally hit me.

"So, Sora," I began. "Where is there to eat around here? Besides your parents' place, that is?" He shrugged.

"Taco place where Roxas works right over there, if you're in the mood for tacos. Or in the mood for Roxas. He seemed pretty crabby when I saw him this morning." I didn't wonder why. I'd been in the room next door the other night, overhearing Roxas' mom giving him hell for his grades, and blatant disrespect of the teachers. He almost reminded me of myself somewhat, but only a little. And only almost.

Tacos? Why make tacos when you could work under your parents? Why not learn the job and hope to inherit the business someday? I just couldn't understand it. And yet, I was starving, so...

"Tacos sound fine," I replied, suddenly deciding to cross the street at an odd angle, making a beeline for the food. Frankly, Sora looked surprised. Eventually, however, he just shrugged and fell in line beside me. "Something wrong with tacos?"

Again, he shrugged. "Just not looking forward to seeing Roxas. He hates when I show up at his job." This made me wonder. Was it worth questioning the relationship between the two brothers, most likely at Sora's expense? I wasn't honestly looking to make anyone angry. Then again, I did find Sora oddly interesting. Whether the parents needed more convincing on their part or not, getting to know their son did not sound like a terrible idea to me.

"Why is that?" Better make the explanation quick. We were almost to the door.

Sora paused for a moment, looking thoughtful. Then, the answer came suddenly, a twisting mess of words, quickly spoken and easily missed if I hadn't been listening carefully enough. "Roxas and I just have a lot of differences. I'm smart, he's kind of dumb. I'm an athlete, he's bound to be the high school drop out. I messed around with the girl I know he's had a crush on for like, forever. And even though we're twins, we're not anything alike. I get the feeling he resents me. A lot. And I mean really resents me. We get along every once in a while, but that's once in a while, and that can be... Well, maybe twice a week if we're lucky. Everything we talk about becomes awkward. Then we stop talking about it to avoid the awkwardness, and eventually we will probably just run out of things to say."

I couldn't quite place the expression on Sora's face at that time. Maybe sadness, but also a look of recognition. Hard to place. Difficult to understand. Impossible to interpret. It just made me more and more confused. The explanation he'd given me hadn't even cleared it up.

"Guess I just don't want to lose him."

That was it.

Sora took a deep breath as we reached the door, and put himself between me and the entrance, just for a moment. "He scares me sometimes. I want to help him. I know he's unhappy with his life, and he just can't understand why, or find the drive to do anything. It makes me sad. I feel like I'd be pretty lonely without him."

Being an only child, I didn't understand really, but I guess it must have been like losing a piece of yourself. And if we were going to relate this to losing pieces of yourself, I knew where this was going. I'd lost myself to the needle months ago.

"Anyway, let's see what he's up to." Sora opened the door for me, gesturing me forward. How polite.

It didn't take us very long to find Roxas. He was sitting at a table near the door, leaning forward, head tilted on one of his hands. Across from him sat a girl. She was pretty plain looking, blonde hair, blue eyes, normal attire. I wondered if this was the girl Sora had been talking about.

"Yo," Sora said, as we passed his brother. Roxas looked suddenly aggitated, and I understood what Sora had been saying earlier. The irritation was burning behind those blue eyes, gaze set on Sora, as though to make him disappear with a simple stare. "Just here to get some food, then I'll be gone, okay?"

"Sure," Roxas replied, quickly and dismissively. He seemed to be in deep conversation with the girl, who was talking animatedly and gesturing with her hands. Again, I questioned her identity.

We reached the counter. Sora didn't glance in Roxas' direction again, and out of respect, I avoided looking that way as well. Clearly, Roxas already seemed to want nothing to do with me, and why challenge the facts any further? No reason.

"Olette! How's work?" A brunette had appeared from behind the counter, a smile on her lips the second she laid eyes on Sora.

"Same as usual. Idiots coming through the drive through today. One lady forgot she turned her car off while she was ordering and had to ask why her car wouldn't go anywhere. I had another guy cuss me out because we got rid of our churros last week. Like that's my fault!" Sora just laughed. They clearly had a very easy friendship. "Are you having the usual today?"

Sora shook his head. "I'm not really hungry. Oh!" He turned to me, grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. "This is Riku. His Dad's helping out with my parents' restaurant. Remember?" Olette nodded, looking pleasent. What an oddly happy girl. "But _he's_ hungry."

"Oh," Olette said, looking my direction. Maybe it was more than just looking in my direction. She was looking me up and down, probably taking in the muscular physique, silver hair, green eyes; all of the things that made me good at being a siren. All of the things that made me good at helping my dad out.

All of the things that led me down my current path...

"Do you know what you want, Riku?"

"Yeah sure. Just give me whatever he normally has. I'm not picky." Truely, I wasn't. And I was always interested in learning more about Sora.

"Okay, sure." It took her a total of about five seconds to get the order put into the computer. "It's seven-seventy-six then please." I reached into my back pocket to retrieve my wallet and handed her my black credit card. They don't deny those anywhere. Not anywhere I'd ever been, at least.

Well, maybe one place.

"It should be right out... Hopefully." She turned to Sora. "Zexion's on line, so you know what that means."

"Yeah. Sorry you're dealing with it today," He replied, looking genuinely irked.

Olette was playing with her hair, glancing around at the surrounding area. Her gaze fell upon Roxas, still lingering at the table with his current distraction. "Just until your brother gets back to work. He's been on break a while. I'm getting worried Irvine's going to come yell at him." I heard Olette's headset go off, and with a quick "See you guys later," she was headed off towards the drive through area.

Sora followed me over to the soda dispenser, and as I filled my cup with the equivalent of Dr. Pepper, he stated, "This is why he worries me. No sense of time management, and doesn't bother to care about the consequences."

"Sounds easy going." I pushed a lid onto my purple cup, and slid a straw out of it's wrapper.

Sora crossed his arms. "Yeah, well, he's an _idiot_." We found a table, a small booth in the opposite end of the restaurant to where Roxas was. Sora sat across from me, still looking bothered and every once in a whle casually glancing at his twin, looking almost disgusted.

"You're that worried about him?" I asked as Olette brought the food to my table.

The brunette nodded, giving Olette a small wave as she wandered away, again answering a drive through customer. "If he gets fired from here, he's really got problems. And I mean that. I love him, but I don't want to see him do himself in over something stupid."

"Suicidal?" I asked, almost nonchalantly.

He shook his head. "Not that I know of. But he's so unpredictable. It's hard to say."

I dove into my food, consuming it quickly, Sora now glaring in Roxas' general direction. I downed my soda.

"You ready to go?" I asked, growing antsy.

I almost thought he was ignoring me. "You're done eating and he's _still_ sitting there, talking to some stranger. What the hell." He pushed himself up from his seat angrily, and sighed. "Yeah, let's go before I punch him in the face." He looked kind of cute when he was angry. I briefly daydreamed about us having rough, hateful sex with one another, fueled by the issues our own lives were causing; but I quickly let that go. Regular, casual sex was probably better to start off with. Back to Sora's anger problem.

How Sora had gone from loving his brother to punching him in the face was a complete mystery to me, but I had more urgent matters to attend to. Like the needle that was calling my name, still nestled in my bag at the hotel, waiting patiently for me...

We left the restaurant through the double doors, back into the main streets of Twilight Town, where everything was bright even as the sun was beginning to set.

"Hey, Riku," Sora started, before we could begin walking again. "There's somewhere I want to take you. Then we can head home." I liked the sound of that. Going somewhere with Sora (possibly somewhere we could get together? Mmm...), and then heading back to the hotel. That sounded like a _great_ idea.

"Sure," I replied, motioning for him to lead the way. "How far?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound rude or like I was rushing him.

"Not very. Only two more blocks and down the road a ways."

I nodded. "Alright."

And Sora and I set off, for God-knows-what destination. Little did I know that where we were headed would change my life.

Forever.

A/N- I'm sorry about the lack of Sora/Riku hook ups, but I've had this story planned for over three years now and I _promise_ there is more interaction (physically and otherwise) in the next chapter. Kind of hoping Kairi and Axel's nice long scene made up for it. Please read and review. I used to have quite a few reviews on this story and then I took it down, so please give me the feedback I need to become a better writer and deliver what you guys are looking for. Very much appreciated!


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